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That Fool Dave Saves the Planet Earth Through Xenophobia

So… I’ve basically given up on our international institutions to solve any of our problems… I mean, look at them… seriously… So, what are we, as individuals, able to do about it? Declare war! War is always a good way to unify people around a common enemy… but, what do we declare war on?

On institutions?… I thought about that for awhile… but ultimately, as with all wars, there end up being civilians involved. Just because most of our institutions, are corrupt, and broken, doesn’t mean they aren’t also filled with regular people trying to make a living… I’ve never been a fan of wars that kill innocent people, that’s why I don’t like the drug war, or the war on terror.

So who do we declare war on? Kepler 22-b. A theoretically habitable planet, approximately 600 light years from earth. Why? Because the alien race of Kepler 22-b, has sent a war party, towards the planet earth. It wants our resources, and it will stop at nothing to destroy us all.

Due to their advanced cloaking technology, we can’t see them yet… but we have good intelligence to suspect that they could arrive at any minute, and humanity must be ready to defend itself.

All of our governments, parties, and religious squabbles are all just meaningless distractions, from the real threat… Kepler 22b. We must abandon them all, and create an enormous international space exploration, colonization, and defense fund, everything else the government is doing… is pretty much a waste of time, and should be ignored whenever possible.

We need to spend money on pure research, or the Keplonians will eradicate us all. Think I’m lying, think the Keplonian threat isn’t real? Well prove me wrong… Prove there are not invisible aliens on their way to destroy us… And, until you can… Shut up… We all might be about to die : p

This invisible extra terrestrial threat can attack at any moment, and we are ill prepared. Everything else should be of secondary concern. What do you think? Also, it needs a name. Ooohhh… Xenons… So we can be worldwide xenophobes. It’s perfect.

So yes. I’m certain… God told me, or the invisible aliens… I saw them in my minds eye, through the quantum, quantumness, in the quantum infinite quantum, quantum… You get it… Magic told me. I’m absolutely 100% sure, and I’ve never told a lie, The Xenons, from Kepler 22b, are going to destroy us all, if humanity doesn’t unite to defend itself.

Join The Xenophobes!

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